But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.-2 Corinthians 12:9
This season of life has been hard with feelings of being emotionally broken and drained.
It started the Sunday after thanksgiving when my father was found diseased in his home. That was a lot of emotions to work through, but I have an awesome husband who listened to me and helped me find my way around the emotions I was feeling.
On December 19, Evelyn was officially diagnosed with Spastic Diplegia, a type of Cerebral Palsy. The type of Cerebral Palsy she has affects her hips, legs, and feet. The specialist told us she has a 70% chance to walk, but will likely need help from braces or walker while learning.
She started Physical therapy a few weeks ago. She is doing fantastic with therapy and is starting to crawl correctly. She is having an easier time sitting and standing.
God is so good. Evelyn (who is 13 months adjusted, 16 months actual) is cognitively at the level of an 18-month-old! So incredible. Her fine motor development is that of a 15-month-old. Her fine motor and cognitive development are excellent. Her gross motor development is that of a 8-month-old
God is good and always puts in place people and events for us to know he is there. The night of Evelyn’s diagnosis we had a prayer night at church. Nate “happened” (not a coincidence) to be paired with two of the pastors. They prayed with him and spoke words of wisdom and grace and encouragement to him. I received some of the best wisdom I’ve received in a long time – that when I don’t know how to pray, whatever brings God the most glory, is what I should pray for. That is a lot easier said than done – to pray for Gods glory or my happiness and security is one I will struggle with for years to come.
The next night Eleanor had her first seizure. It was terrifying. I was in the room, rocking Evelyn and watching Netflix. I thought Eleanor was having a night terror, so I laid Evelyn down. Then I realized that Eleanor was seizing. I ran her downstairs and screaming for Nate to call 911. Her lips and fingers were blue. She threw up, stopped seizing, and then passed out. By the time she came to she could not talk for 15 minutes. The entire time I just desperately prayed for her to be okay. At church today, during the sermon, Pastor Matt said, “you must come the end of yourself to know who you are in Christ”. And honestly at the end of myself I can say God came through and was there.
For the next two weeks Eleanor kept having these random spells where she would stare off into space. Sometimes mid-sentence, and then she would finish what she was saying like it never happened. If you tried to talk to her or rub her nose or play with her hand she had no idea you were doing anything. We called the doctor about her dazing out moments and they told us that it sounded like Absence Seizures and she needed an EEG. The first EEG she had came back as abnormal. She had two absence seizures while asleep. We met with a Nurse practitioner who said that she wanted a longer EEG (24 hour) to rule out sleep abnormality verse epilepsy.
At her 24 hour EEG last week, God really showed up big time. Her doctor came in and told us that he reviewed her 60 minute EEG and talked to us about her zone outs. He said that she had some form of epilepsy but they would review what happened on the 24 hour EEG to determine how to treat. He told us there was no way Eleanor didn’t have epilepsy. The 24 hour EEG was only to determine what medicine to put her on.
Heavy-hearted, we asked our friends to pray for God to show up and that it would be a normal EEG, and if that wasn’t his will that we would be okay with it. Our friends prayed, and God listened. Our night time nurse was my Sunday School teacher 25 years ago. She was randomly assigned to our room. Talk about a small event from a big God!! Those are the moments I can really see God’s hand in our lives.
The next morning, we had one very confused doctor. Not only did he remove her epilepsy diagnosis but also her EEG came back 100% normal. He didn’t know what to say, except to keep her 6 week follow up in case we saw further issues. One of my life group ladies messaged me and said that she and her husband prayed “specifically … that the EEG would come back completely normal and that it would be clear that only God do something like that. Prayer is a powerful thing!!!”
What a God we serve. In some of the most terrifying moments God was there. He orchestrated events to let us know he isn’t a far-off God. At prayer night, Chery told me that “my life might be uncertain, but it isn’t insecure”. As I sit here and remember one of the hardest seasons of our marriage, with tear filled eyes, I know we are blessed.
The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18